My world is on fire. Everything around me is ablaze. I must be humble in order to survive. I will thrive. It would be very easy to allow myself to get burned. Too many lives blinded by the bright. They attempt to mask internal struggle, parading in the spotlight of vanity and greed, attempting to claim that they are untouchable by reality.
Reality is inevitable; it catches up to us, like flame or smoke. Human experience is inclusive and necessary for growth. Regrets are conceived in the belly of the bright. The absence of reflection or balance results in the tragedy of regret. Not everything I do will be successful. If I don’t allow my failures to define me, they will most certainly refine me. Every try is a badge of honour representing my everyday in every way.
It is the balance of black and bright that will give me identity. Unique and beautiful, just as intended. I inhale just enough smoke to understand my own fragility. Everywhere I turn, I see a towering inferno, flames so white, so opaque they seem to mirror my image. It is lonely in the black beneath the fog. It is even lonelier in the bright, as I cut through the haze of it all.
Be accountable. If you are forgetful, make notes. If you are consistently late, set your clocks back and live by your own time zone. If you are selfish and inconsiderate, make the next five things you do benefit someone other than yourself. For every trouble, there is a method. You will begin to see the world more clearly. You will see the world for what it should be. Most importantly, you will see others making the same mistakes you did, and you will realize how detrimental they are. You will begin to despise the forgetful, lazy, late, and inconsiderate. You will want to show them the light that you have found – pay it forward, so to speak. I actually think it’s more of “settling your balance” than “paying it forward”.
Balance in life is one of the most difficult things to achieve. Most people live in the black or the bright exclusively. I visit each equally in my life. I used to only seek out the bright and do my best to avoid the black. Back then, when I would find myself in either. It would become completely overwhelming and often, debilitating. In the black, I would avoid all human interaction and for about a week I would be undeniably depressed and retreat my everything into darkness. In the bright, I would do the opposite. I would surround myself with people and excitement. Partying it up and going all the way hard. Neither was healthy and often one would force the other on me. I was helpless. I was going through the motions. Blinded by both the black and the bright.
More recently, I have been fortunate enough to live in balance. My black lasts only for moments, a day at the most. My bright is also found in moments or a day. I live each one separately, never combining more than 24 hours into a single emotion. This doesn’t mean I am depressed every other day. It means I allow myself to validate each moment, each day, individually. Never assuming I will be in the black or the bright until I am consciously reacting to a single situation. This is why my world is on fire. Energy is transferred, never created and never destroyed. Simply, I am compelled to adapt because of the black and the bright.
WORDS: KYLE KOFSKY
PHOTOS: TARA NOELLE